Rise Above This

A lot has happened lately. So much so that sometimes it's really hard for me to stay calm, collected and cool. In fact, I haven't felt that way in a very long time. I miss it, but I'm not sure how to fix everything anymore. A very dear friend recently said "You've got a million thoughts and emotions running through your head right now. So let them out." And I've finally admitted that this is what's got to happen. Except for this time I'm going to write, because it doesn't come out so good as speech.

--I hate bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It's not fair and I don't like it anymore, but I don't know how to fix it either.

--I have the most amazing friends ever. They know that someting is wrong just by looking at me most of the time. They've played therapist wayyy more than they should have to lately and I feel really bad about that. I don't want to burden them with my craziness because I know that some people have it way worse than I do and it's not fair to them when my problems start taking a toll on them. I should be more grateful, and deep down I am.

--I miss my best friends. I didn't realize how lucky I was until they moved away (Kels, Jess, Kat, Shelly) and reality started to sink in. Sometimes I feel a bit left behind because normal people know how to move on with their lives (literally and figuratively) and be happy. And I...I'm still here.

--I wish I didn't become so attached to certain people and things because it's not fair to them and really not healthy.

--I want to be happy again. Really happy.

--School is really kicking my ass this semester. I mean I love learning and I love the social aspect, but sometimes things just get to be too much. I'm there and I think I've probably been there for a while now. Math is just plain difficult for me and I'm afraid that I'll have to drop the class if I didn't do well on this last test. I really don't want to do that. History and Psych are good :) My Environmental Science class is very interesting. The teacher is great and the lab is fun, but very challenging. I'm very thankful for my English class because it lets me be creative in my writing, yet it forces me to write.

--And then there's The Sentinel. First off, let me say that this paper is my daily dose of humor and sarcasm. I don't think I could live without it. I really don't Nils is a crazy old man, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been very blessed to meet some great (egotistical and crazy) people that have changed my life, even when they move far away.

I'm sure there's more, but for now this will have to suffice, because I will rise above this. I will be okay.

If you've made it this far thank you so much! :)