Sunday's at my parent's house have always been the one day of the week where nobody has any other commitments and we tend to lay around the house in our pajamas all day. My dad will cook a good breakfast and my brother goes to to get the newspaper and takes our drink orders while he's there as well.
Sunday's are definitely my favorite day of the week. Especially, when I don't have a staff meeting for the Arg to attend or homework to worry about, even if it is only because we're on Thanksgiving break.
Now if only I weren't sick and there wasn't snow on the ground. But this, I'll take this.
This next week has lots of exciting things in store as well. As Kelty put it, I've got a lot of hell to raise in two day's time. Hell raising is fun though.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Call Me Irresponsible
I've got so much to tell, but I'm not sure how to organize my thoughts so that anybody else can understand them so I'll go day by day because that will probably be easier to comprehend, maybe. It's been one hell of a week and this week is going to be busy and crazy as well.
Sunday--My mommy came down for a couple of hours and so we hung out here and ordered pasta from Pizza Hut which is quite good, by the way. She tries to come down every couple of weeks and it's nice especially because I refuse to come home until Thanksgiving break starts and then Christmas break. That's a whole other story though. The staff meeting was uneventful. Marcus was back after taking a week to cool off and in an exceptionally good mood. I took two stories and maybe should've only taken one but I'll pull it off. I always do.
Monday--Monday's are always intense because they're so jam-packed. The Red Bull Run was back in full swing seeing a how the topic of conversation quickly came around to sex and nudity. Oops. Geography was boring, but it always is to me. When it came time for English things got interesting. We were all sitting in class waiting for our teacher to arrive and at three minutes after class was supposed to start James checks his email and then bursts out laughing because just then the teacher had sent an email saying that class was cancelled for the day. We laughed it off and moved on. I then went and had coffee with Kelsey before my lab. Micah and Elizabeth eventually showed up before I had to leave. Production was interesting and entertaining as always.
Tuesday--I left the house early because when I grabbed my Mac from Kelsey the night before I forgot to grab the cord and so I needed to get it from her desk. Then I went to class and more class and more class. And then a quick walk back to the SUB with Jake to catch the bus home. There were lots of riders that night so it was fun. Home just meant that I had laundry and homework but home is still good.
Wednesday--I was exhausted for some reason and had tons to do. I missed my geography class because I had an interview for the Veteran's Day story which went very well. I then missed my English class because I needed to cover the actual event but it was okay because I turned my assignment into him early. The Veteran's Day lunch was totally worth missing class for too. Jake got some awesome pictures and both the story and pictures ended up on the front page of the Arg. I then went back to the newsroom to ask Marcus if he would extend my deadline from three to five, and he did. I still hated asking, though. I went home and wrote the story. Just in time too, because then Ian showed up. We'll save that conversation for another day, however. Let's just say that I needed a good, strong drink or some sleep afterward. Neither of which I received.
Thursday--Abu gave us study guides for tests on Tuesday in both of his classes but they're big ones. We met for Dinah's class to discuss where are news stories are and what we'll be doing the rest of the semester. Between Ethics and Dinah's class I went to sign my payroll but could only sign my one for whatever writing I've done because the production ones weren't ready yet and Shawn wasn't in his office. After Dinah's class I went back to the SUB again to sign my production payroll before Global Media. After class Jake walked with me to production which was entertaining as always.
Friday--I had both my Geography and English classes. My English class is definitely getting more entertaining each day. After classes I went and sat at he cafe inside the SUB with a book and a chai. Ryan showed up and we sat their with our coffees and book (me) and computer (him). Ian and Emily came by and that threw me completely off. I came home expecting a night of peace but then Mandi showed up (uggh) and so we hung out.
Today--I slept way longer than I needed to and then went to the KUOI sale, which I was thoroughly unimpressed with. I ran into both Mark and Ryan there. On the way home I stopped and got a chai and now I'm here...procrastinating.
When's Thanksgiving break again?
Sunday--My mommy came down for a couple of hours and so we hung out here and ordered pasta from Pizza Hut which is quite good, by the way. She tries to come down every couple of weeks and it's nice especially because I refuse to come home until Thanksgiving break starts and then Christmas break. That's a whole other story though. The staff meeting was uneventful. Marcus was back after taking a week to cool off and in an exceptionally good mood. I took two stories and maybe should've only taken one but I'll pull it off. I always do.
Monday--Monday's are always intense because they're so jam-packed. The Red Bull Run was back in full swing seeing a how the topic of conversation quickly came around to sex and nudity. Oops. Geography was boring, but it always is to me. When it came time for English things got interesting. We were all sitting in class waiting for our teacher to arrive and at three minutes after class was supposed to start James checks his email and then bursts out laughing because just then the teacher had sent an email saying that class was cancelled for the day. We laughed it off and moved on. I then went and had coffee with Kelsey before my lab. Micah and Elizabeth eventually showed up before I had to leave. Production was interesting and entertaining as always.
Tuesday--I left the house early because when I grabbed my Mac from Kelsey the night before I forgot to grab the cord and so I needed to get it from her desk. Then I went to class and more class and more class. And then a quick walk back to the SUB with Jake to catch the bus home. There were lots of riders that night so it was fun. Home just meant that I had laundry and homework but home is still good.
Wednesday--I was exhausted for some reason and had tons to do. I missed my geography class because I had an interview for the Veteran's Day story which went very well. I then missed my English class because I needed to cover the actual event but it was okay because I turned my assignment into him early. The Veteran's Day lunch was totally worth missing class for too. Jake got some awesome pictures and both the story and pictures ended up on the front page of the Arg. I then went back to the newsroom to ask Marcus if he would extend my deadline from three to five, and he did. I still hated asking, though. I went home and wrote the story. Just in time too, because then Ian showed up. We'll save that conversation for another day, however. Let's just say that I needed a good, strong drink or some sleep afterward. Neither of which I received.
Thursday--Abu gave us study guides for tests on Tuesday in both of his classes but they're big ones. We met for Dinah's class to discuss where are news stories are and what we'll be doing the rest of the semester. Between Ethics and Dinah's class I went to sign my payroll but could only sign my one for whatever writing I've done because the production ones weren't ready yet and Shawn wasn't in his office. After Dinah's class I went back to the SUB again to sign my production payroll before Global Media. After class Jake walked with me to production which was entertaining as always.
Friday--I had both my Geography and English classes. My English class is definitely getting more entertaining each day. After classes I went and sat at he cafe inside the SUB with a book and a chai. Ryan showed up and we sat their with our coffees and book (me) and computer (him). Ian and Emily came by and that threw me completely off. I came home expecting a night of peace but then Mandi showed up (uggh) and so we hung out.
Today--I slept way longer than I needed to and then went to the KUOI sale, which I was thoroughly unimpressed with. I ran into both Mark and Ryan there. On the way home I stopped and got a chai and now I'm here...procrastinating.
When's Thanksgiving break again?
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Under Pressure
I've been busy, really busy which coincidentally leaves little to no time for updating this; as much as I want to. Wednesday's usually my light day each week, but no more.
I've got two classes, an interview (or five), a story to write by the 3 p.m. deadline for an event that isn't happening until noon, laundry, homework and maybe I'll eventually get some sleep in.
I'm so overwhelmed. I hope that I can get my story in by deadline and have it be good. I also need to do some major research for a package of news stories that I'm working on for Dinah's class. Which reminds me that I also need to have a resume and cover letter ready for her tomorrow.
I don't know why I'm writing all of this down because it sure as hell isn't interesting but considering that I can't think straight right now but I will get through today.
Not that the pressure's on or anything.
I've got two classes, an interview (or five), a story to write by the 3 p.m. deadline for an event that isn't happening until noon, laundry, homework and maybe I'll eventually get some sleep in.
I'm so overwhelmed. I hope that I can get my story in by deadline and have it be good. I also need to do some major research for a package of news stories that I'm working on for Dinah's class. Which reminds me that I also need to have a resume and cover letter ready for her tomorrow.
I don't know why I'm writing all of this down because it sure as hell isn't interesting but considering that I can't think straight right now but I will get through today.
Not that the pressure's on or anything.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Any Other Friday
Today I...
--played tour guide to a family while riding a bus on a very hilly campus. It was very impromptu.
--enjoyed a few moments of peace with a good book and a warm chai. The book was "Beloved" by Toni Morrison and the chai was of the vanilla sort.
--saw a friend and his fiance without them seeing me. I then proceeded to play chicken and wheeled in the opposite direction rather quickly. It's not them, it's me.
--met a neighbor while playing the aforementioned role of impromptu tour guide. She's quite nice.
--reconnected with an old classmate. We hadn't seen each other in about 10 years or so. It was fun playing catch up and talking about where we had been, where we are and where we want to go.
--was invited to a pizza party but politely declined.
--embraced the sunshine and the wind both.
--was reminded for the millionth time that I'm gullible and there's a reason I trust the people I do.
--lived through the most boring English class ever. That's a lot coming from me.
--rediscovered Bob Marley.
--need short story ideas.
--am thankful for a peaceful soul. Please don't take that away from me.
--played tour guide to a family while riding a bus on a very hilly campus. It was very impromptu.
--enjoyed a few moments of peace with a good book and a warm chai. The book was "Beloved" by Toni Morrison and the chai was of the vanilla sort.
--saw a friend and his fiance without them seeing me. I then proceeded to play chicken and wheeled in the opposite direction rather quickly. It's not them, it's me.
--met a neighbor while playing the aforementioned role of impromptu tour guide. She's quite nice.
--reconnected with an old classmate. We hadn't seen each other in about 10 years or so. It was fun playing catch up and talking about where we had been, where we are and where we want to go.
--was invited to a pizza party but politely declined.
--embraced the sunshine and the wind both.
--was reminded for the millionth time that I'm gullible and there's a reason I trust the people I do.
--lived through the most boring English class ever. That's a lot coming from me.
--rediscovered Bob Marley.
--need short story ideas.
--am thankful for a peaceful soul. Please don't take that away from me.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
A Long December
Why do song lyrics always say it best?
I'm overwhelmed. I have tons to do and neither the desire or energy to do any of it. I miss my friends. I think I'm losing the two people in the world who mean the most to me; the two people who I trust with everything. My skin hurts. I used to have beautiful, soft skin but alas.
Somedays getting out of bed almost isn't worth it. I long for people, but the people here have their own lives, concerns, worries and they should. It's just that...I guess I've been spoiled in the people department until now. I've become somewhat of an introvert and thats just not me. I miss having people around who understood, or tried. Moscow's not all bad, don't get me wrong. If I've learned one thing since I've been here though it's that there's no place like home.
The Argonaut has been one hell of an experience; one that I know will be worth it in the end. You see, I've never been of the competitive type. I've never had to be, until now. It'll be good, though. Toughen me up, right? I've always said that the best thing about journalism is the people, and to this day it's true. But what if they don't think I'm a good enough writer or a stunning page designer? What happens then?
Maybe, I just need sunshine, or a good belly laugh, or a good long hug.
Why does he always come to my mind? Just stop it already, please. He's not making it any easier.
As for me, I think it's time to try and get some sleep because there will always be tomorrow.
I'm overwhelmed. I have tons to do and neither the desire or energy to do any of it. I miss my friends. I think I'm losing the two people in the world who mean the most to me; the two people who I trust with everything. My skin hurts. I used to have beautiful, soft skin but alas.
Somedays getting out of bed almost isn't worth it. I long for people, but the people here have their own lives, concerns, worries and they should. It's just that...I guess I've been spoiled in the people department until now. I've become somewhat of an introvert and thats just not me. I miss having people around who understood, or tried. Moscow's not all bad, don't get me wrong. If I've learned one thing since I've been here though it's that there's no place like home.
The Argonaut has been one hell of an experience; one that I know will be worth it in the end. You see, I've never been of the competitive type. I've never had to be, until now. It'll be good, though. Toughen me up, right? I've always said that the best thing about journalism is the people, and to this day it's true. But what if they don't think I'm a good enough writer or a stunning page designer? What happens then?
Maybe, I just need sunshine, or a good belly laugh, or a good long hug.
Why does he always come to my mind? Just stop it already, please. He's not making it any easier.
As for me, I think it's time to try and get some sleep because there will always be tomorrow.
So That It No Longer Threatens The Life It Belongs To
After you left, I grieved and I began to move on. I concentrated on school and friends and myself. Sure, you were in the back of my mind somewhere but you'll always be there. It's just the way you and I work.
I moved and when I was getting ready to move I knew that us being in the same town could be beautiful or it could be painful. It turns out that its been a good mix of both.
We'll run into each other by chance or meet because one of us sends a text to the other saying come see me. And I fall for it every time; except I should know better because it makes it hard.
Seeing you makes it really hard not to miss you. In fact, it makes it damn near impossible not to miss you. And I miss you most not when you haven't been around, but rather after I've spent some time with you because thats when all these memories and all these emotions well up inside of me and refuse to leave without putting up a fight. When you're gone it's easy to move on with life and preoccupy myself with other concerns.
That being said, I'm not sure that I could handle you not being in my life. Because you are one of only two people I trust in this whole wide world.
Its not even that I'm in love with you anymore, its just that I miss being with you. Falling asleep in your arms and knowing that you'd never let anything bad happen. Talking, really talking to you, about everything and about nothing. Having your complete attention and knowing that neither one of us has anywhere or anyone to rush off to. I miss having you care. I miss midnight.
I miss you and I know that I shouldn't.
And now that I've gotten this off of my chest so that it no longer threatens the life it belongs to.
I moved and when I was getting ready to move I knew that us being in the same town could be beautiful or it could be painful. It turns out that its been a good mix of both.
We'll run into each other by chance or meet because one of us sends a text to the other saying come see me. And I fall for it every time; except I should know better because it makes it hard.
Seeing you makes it really hard not to miss you. In fact, it makes it damn near impossible not to miss you. And I miss you most not when you haven't been around, but rather after I've spent some time with you because thats when all these memories and all these emotions well up inside of me and refuse to leave without putting up a fight. When you're gone it's easy to move on with life and preoccupy myself with other concerns.
That being said, I'm not sure that I could handle you not being in my life. Because you are one of only two people I trust in this whole wide world.
Its not even that I'm in love with you anymore, its just that I miss being with you. Falling asleep in your arms and knowing that you'd never let anything bad happen. Talking, really talking to you, about everything and about nothing. Having your complete attention and knowing that neither one of us has anywhere or anyone to rush off to. I miss having you care. I miss midnight.
I miss you and I know that I shouldn't.
And now that I've gotten this off of my chest so that it no longer threatens the life it belongs to.
Beautiful
I was on my way inside the Commons on this blustery, windy morning. It had so far been one of those mornings where I was feeling a bit on the shabby side. My goal was to make it through the one class I'd had left and then go home and curl up in bed with a good book. I sure as hell wasn't feeling pretty and being outside, much less in a public place wasn't helping my mood.
I've almost reached the door when without a word and just a smile, a young man comes up to me and puts a card in my hand. I turn it over and it reads
You are beautiful.
Overcome with happiness I look at him as he smiles and nods again and walks away.
Now, I'm sure that I wasn't the only person to get one of these cards today, but it makes today so worth it. And to everybody else, just remember
You are beautiful.
I've almost reached the door when without a word and just a smile, a young man comes up to me and puts a card in my hand. I turn it over and it reads
You are beautiful.
Overcome with happiness I look at him as he smiles and nods again and walks away.
Now, I'm sure that I wasn't the only person to get one of these cards today, but it makes today so worth it. And to everybody else, just remember
You are beautiful.
Midnight
“Be awake in an hour”
the butterflies kick up a storm inside
my soul. But I can't help it.
This love is deep
deeper than I could have ever wished.
The clock strikes midnight and
my face is as bright as the moon because
before long you'll be here and
wrapped in your arms I'll feel complete.
The phone rings and your voice instantly grounds me;
making small talk as if that's the way we've always done things.
You talk of how happy you are with her and
how things are falling into place.
Sharing secrets and sweet lullabies;
it's just something that you and I do.
“She's pregnant” your shaky voice says
and through that beautiful smile I see
that you've never been more excited
or scared. Even the best fall down sometimes.
Out with friends and
Jimmy Buffets Love Child;
laughter is contagious, it's true.
One message darkens my world
“The doctor says it's not true”
so it is that heartbreak and despair
are also contagious.
Why is it that we're so connected?
They say its not right, but
sharing secrets and sweet lullabies;
it's just something that you and I do.
Nothing will ever come of you and I again; this I know
but we still have midnight.
Nothing will ever come of you and I again; this I know
but we still have midnight.
the butterflies kick up a storm inside
my soul. But I can't help it.
This love is deep
deeper than I could have ever wished.
The clock strikes midnight and
my face is as bright as the moon because
before long you'll be here and
wrapped in your arms I'll feel complete.
The phone rings and your voice instantly grounds me;
making small talk as if that's the way we've always done things.
You talk of how happy you are with her and
how things are falling into place.
Sharing secrets and sweet lullabies;
it's just something that you and I do.
“She's pregnant” your shaky voice says
and through that beautiful smile I see
that you've never been more excited
or scared. Even the best fall down sometimes.
Out with friends and
Jimmy Buffets Love Child;
laughter is contagious, it's true.
One message darkens my world
“The doctor says it's not true”
so it is that heartbreak and despair
are also contagious.
Why is it that we're so connected?
They say its not right, but
sharing secrets and sweet lullabies;
it's just something that you and I do.
Nothing will ever come of you and I again; this I know
but we still have midnight.
Nothing will ever come of you and I again; this I know
but we still have midnight.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Daddy's Little Girl
Her tiny fingers wrapped in his big, dark palm
The beginnings of dark curls and jade green eyes
Peaceful. Content.
Just like him.
47 minutes, 6 seconds,
And she was already
Daddy's Little Girl.
Sandcastles and snowcones
Olive skin and long legs
Belly laughs and funny faces
It was summertime on the ocean
One they'd never forget.
Sixteen years old and a rebel
Blue raspberry hair and tattoos
Her first boyfriend and her first car
Neither would last
She was independent and stubborn
Just like him.
Red roses and a white dress
The beach at sunset
Family and close friends
A wedding, and a dance
They both knew she would always be
Daddy's Little Girl.
The beginnings of dark curls and jade green eyes
Peaceful. Content.
Just like him.
47 minutes, 6 seconds,
And she was already
Daddy's Little Girl.
Sandcastles and snowcones
Olive skin and long legs
Belly laughs and funny faces
It was summertime on the ocean
One they'd never forget.
Sixteen years old and a rebel
Blue raspberry hair and tattoos
Her first boyfriend and her first car
Neither would last
She was independent and stubborn
Just like him.
Red roses and a white dress
The beach at sunset
Family and close friends
A wedding, and a dance
They both knew she would always be
Daddy's Little Girl.
Unpretty
The pretty girls
With their thick, perfect hair
And closets full of clothes
Armani and Prada
Are the only things that touch their skin.
They point and laugh
On the way to their BMW's,
In designer outfits
That their rich daddies bought them
Just because.
I sit here, alone.
My greasy, frizzy hair hangs knotted down my back
An outfit that was popular twenty years ago
Hand me downs and thrift store finds
Are the only things we can afford.
I stare into their faces, coated with too much makeup
As the dirty van, clunky and broken, pulls into the parking lot.
We'll be lucky if we make it wherever it is that we're going.
My mother, brothers and sisters sit waiting
To go dumpster diving for unknown treasures.
What I would give to be beautiful, like them.
But the dirty clothes and the broken van
The hard life, it's made me what I am.
What I'll always be
Unpretty.
With their thick, perfect hair
And closets full of clothes
Armani and Prada
Are the only things that touch their skin.
They point and laugh
On the way to their BMW's,
In designer outfits
That their rich daddies bought them
Just because.
I sit here, alone.
My greasy, frizzy hair hangs knotted down my back
An outfit that was popular twenty years ago
Hand me downs and thrift store finds
Are the only things we can afford.
I stare into their faces, coated with too much makeup
As the dirty van, clunky and broken, pulls into the parking lot.
We'll be lucky if we make it wherever it is that we're going.
My mother, brothers and sisters sit waiting
To go dumpster diving for unknown treasures.
What I would give to be beautiful, like them.
But the dirty clothes and the broken van
The hard life, it's made me what I am.
What I'll always be
Unpretty.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Rise Above This
A lot has happened lately. So much so that sometimes it's really hard for me to stay calm, collected and cool. In fact, I haven't felt that way in a very long time. I miss it, but I'm not sure how to fix everything anymore. A very dear friend recently said "You've got a million thoughts and emotions running through your head right now. So let them out." And I've finally admitted that this is what's got to happen. Except for this time I'm going to write, because it doesn't come out so good as speech.
--I hate bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It's not fair and I don't like it anymore, but I don't know how to fix it either.
--I have the most amazing friends ever. They know that someting is wrong just by looking at me most of the time. They've played therapist wayyy more than they should have to lately and I feel really bad about that. I don't want to burden them with my craziness because I know that some people have it way worse than I do and it's not fair to them when my problems start taking a toll on them. I should be more grateful, and deep down I am.
--I miss my best friends. I didn't realize how lucky I was until they moved away (Kels, Jess, Kat, Shelly) and reality started to sink in. Sometimes I feel a bit left behind because normal people know how to move on with their lives (literally and figuratively) and be happy. And I...I'm still here.
--I wish I didn't become so attached to certain people and things because it's not fair to them and really not healthy.
--I want to be happy again. Really happy.
--School is really kicking my ass this semester. I mean I love learning and I love the social aspect, but sometimes things just get to be too much. I'm there and I think I've probably been there for a while now. Math is just plain difficult for me and I'm afraid that I'll have to drop the class if I didn't do well on this last test. I really don't want to do that. History and Psych are good :) My Environmental Science class is very interesting. The teacher is great and the lab is fun, but very challenging. I'm very thankful for my English class because it lets me be creative in my writing, yet it forces me to write.
--And then there's The Sentinel. First off, let me say that this paper is my daily dose of humor and sarcasm. I don't think I could live without it. I really don't Nils is a crazy old man, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been very blessed to meet some great (egotistical and crazy) people that have changed my life, even when they move far away.
I'm sure there's more, but for now this will have to suffice, because I will rise above this. I will be okay.
If you've made it this far thank you so much! :)
--I hate bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It's not fair and I don't like it anymore, but I don't know how to fix it either.
--I have the most amazing friends ever. They know that someting is wrong just by looking at me most of the time. They've played therapist wayyy more than they should have to lately and I feel really bad about that. I don't want to burden them with my craziness because I know that some people have it way worse than I do and it's not fair to them when my problems start taking a toll on them. I should be more grateful, and deep down I am.
--I miss my best friends. I didn't realize how lucky I was until they moved away (Kels, Jess, Kat, Shelly) and reality started to sink in. Sometimes I feel a bit left behind because normal people know how to move on with their lives (literally and figuratively) and be happy. And I...I'm still here.
--I wish I didn't become so attached to certain people and things because it's not fair to them and really not healthy.
--I want to be happy again. Really happy.
--School is really kicking my ass this semester. I mean I love learning and I love the social aspect, but sometimes things just get to be too much. I'm there and I think I've probably been there for a while now. Math is just plain difficult for me and I'm afraid that I'll have to drop the class if I didn't do well on this last test. I really don't want to do that. History and Psych are good :) My Environmental Science class is very interesting. The teacher is great and the lab is fun, but very challenging. I'm very thankful for my English class because it lets me be creative in my writing, yet it forces me to write.
--And then there's The Sentinel. First off, let me say that this paper is my daily dose of humor and sarcasm. I don't think I could live without it. I really don't Nils is a crazy old man, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been very blessed to meet some great (egotistical and crazy) people that have changed my life, even when they move far away.
I'm sure there's more, but for now this will have to suffice, because I will rise above this. I will be okay.
If you've made it this far thank you so much! :)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Bubbles
It begins with a meltdown
Talk me down. Let me cry it out.
A kind word. The inquisition.
It ends with bubbles.
Spin me in circles. Make me laugh.
Thank you for caring.
Talk me down. Let me cry it out.
A kind word. The inquisition.
It ends with bubbles.
Spin me in circles. Make me laugh.
Thank you for caring.
One
One summer of passion.
The beach at sunset.
Tequila and ACDC
We were in love.
One crisp autumn afternoon
The falling leaves of the maple
The test was positive
We were scared.
One cold, harsh winter
A blanket of snow covering the past
A rose, and a handwritten note
I was alone.
One fresh spring day
Flowers blooming and bees humming
The pain is getting worse
A fresh face. A blessing.
The beach at sunset.
Tequila and ACDC
We were in love.
One crisp autumn afternoon
The falling leaves of the maple
The test was positive
We were scared.
One cold, harsh winter
A blanket of snow covering the past
A rose, and a handwritten note
I was alone.
One fresh spring day
Flowers blooming and bees humming
The pain is getting worse
A fresh face. A blessing.
Home
The television is on
Football blaring from its speakers
People crowded around
Screaming out plays, and insults
Jumping up and down
The kitchen is a mess
Packed full of chips and dip
Pizza and coke
It’s become a free-for-all
An all-you-can eat buffet.
Candles scent the air.
Lamps light the way
When you come, you won’t want to leave
Because it feels right.
Because it fits.
Home.
Football blaring from its speakers
People crowded around
Screaming out plays, and insults
Jumping up and down
The kitchen is a mess
Packed full of chips and dip
Pizza and coke
It’s become a free-for-all
An all-you-can eat buffet.
Candles scent the air.
Lamps light the way
When you come, you won’t want to leave
Because it feels right.
Because it fits.
Home.
Tick Tock
Tick Tock. Tick Tock.
Time’s running out.
You’re running away
You’ll be running forever.
The rage
It consumes you
Hardens your soul
Breaks my heart
The twinkle in your eyes
It's gone, faster then it was ever there.
The warmth within, no more
Ice, breaking. Just like you.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock
Times running out
You’re running away
You'll be running forever.
Time’s running out.
You’re running away
You’ll be running forever.
The rage
It consumes you
Hardens your soul
Breaks my heart
The twinkle in your eyes
It's gone, faster then it was ever there.
The warmth within, no more
Ice, breaking. Just like you.
Tick Tock, Tick Tock
Times running out
You’re running away
You'll be running forever.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
When Everything's Made To Be Broken
"When Everything's Made To Be Broken/I Just Want You To Know Who I Am"
How can one phrase hold so much meaning? So much emotion?
He's happy. He wants to marry her and grow old with her. She is all he's ever wanted and his dream has finally come true. He went to see her tonight and I know he had a great time. I just hope she isn't taking him for granted. My Beautiful Boy.
Where does this leave me? Back in the friend stage. He wants to be friends and so do I, but it kills me. I pretend everything is okay, for him. I want him to be happy.
It's just that...I still love him. I know I shouldn't but I do.
He doesn't love me anymore. Why can't I accept this?
So what happens now? What happens when everything's made to be broken?
How can one phrase hold so much meaning? So much emotion?
He's happy. He wants to marry her and grow old with her. She is all he's ever wanted and his dream has finally come true. He went to see her tonight and I know he had a great time. I just hope she isn't taking him for granted. My Beautiful Boy.
Where does this leave me? Back in the friend stage. He wants to be friends and so do I, but it kills me. I pretend everything is okay, for him. I want him to be happy.
It's just that...I still love him. I know I shouldn't but I do.
He doesn't love me anymore. Why can't I accept this?
So what happens now? What happens when everything's made to be broken?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Goodbye, My Love
The crushing silence of the ocean
The harsh screeches of the gulls
Long beaches stretched wide and open
Shells taken with the heavy pull of each wave.
The morning tide brings new treasures
Empty conk shells abandoned in the sand
A quiet morning stroll yields promise
A new day begun. A new beginning found.
Sunrises bring new songs to the skies
The waves carry with them folk tales from distant shores
New stories to be told.
Old stories to be found.
A message in a bottle
A secret not to a lost love
“To my dearest…” it begins
“Please forgive me…” is how it ends.
The harsh screeches of the gulls
Long beaches stretched wide and open
Shells taken with the heavy pull of each wave.
The morning tide brings new treasures
Empty conk shells abandoned in the sand
A quiet morning stroll yields promise
A new day begun. A new beginning found.
Sunrises bring new songs to the skies
The waves carry with them folk tales from distant shores
New stories to be told.
Old stories to be found.
A message in a bottle
A secret not to a lost love
“To my dearest…” it begins
“Please forgive me…” is how it ends.
Just Another Game Won
The chime of the doorbell rings
The music pumps inside
B.Y.O.B on the minds of the young, not so innocent
Not a sober being in the place.
Slurred shouting in the air
Booming laughter grabs attention
Spilled Budweiser pools
In shag carpet and across acid wash jeans
Burnt popcorn faces rejection.
The outside air smells of drugs
Useless banter and humorless jokes
The smoke from the bonfire and filtered cigarettes
Rises in plumes and hangs in a cloud
Above the drugged out faces
After the Friday night football game.
The music pumps inside
B.Y.O.B on the minds of the young, not so innocent
Not a sober being in the place.
Slurred shouting in the air
Booming laughter grabs attention
Spilled Budweiser pools
In shag carpet and across acid wash jeans
Burnt popcorn faces rejection.
The outside air smells of drugs
Useless banter and humorless jokes
The smoke from the bonfire and filtered cigarettes
Rises in plumes and hangs in a cloud
Above the drugged out faces
After the Friday night football game.
Monday, September 8, 2008
A Sneak Peak: 100% Juice
*The following is my first column as the A&E editor. Let me know what you think, k?*
Music. Theatre. Television and Movies. Games. These are the things that make up American culture. Watching overrated celebrities live their drama-filled lives instead of going out and living our own is the American way. We’re constantly watching and waiting to see what brainless, dim-witted move the trashy Britney Spears, or the even trashier Amy Winehouse makes. We’re fascinated with Hollywood and the stars that call it home. We’ve forever been sucked into the ways of pop culture, and we’re loving every minute of it.
Twenty years ago, everyday people actually led real lives. They went to work and school. Ate dinner as a family and spent time together that wasn’t in front of the TV. Hollywood was just entertainment, the occasional indulgence, if you will. Today, Hollywood is so much more than entertainment. Hollywood is an escape from the pressures of real life. Hollywood is an excuse not to be the best we can. It has ruined the great America that once was. How? Like I said earlier, we spend more time following the lives of our favorite celebrities instead of going out and making a life of our own. Is there something wrong with that picture, or is it just me?
That being said, I’m your new A&E editor and I’m not all cynical and skeptical, because as much as I think that Hollywood is overrated it has irrevocably sucked me into its depths as well. The arts and entertainment industry isn’t all bad either, especially the local scene. To be honest, NIC students are really lucky to live where we do. If you aren’t familiar with the local arts scene it’s about time you wake up and take a good look around because our local fine arts scene is booming with tons of great musicians and artists that hold great shows at really great prices (can we say FREE!) fairly often. There’s rarely a day that goes by where something isn’t happening at NIC that’s entertainment or fine arts related, and it’s encouragement for students to get involved on campus and in the community. It’s proven that when people, especially young people get involved in their community they are more likely to be successful and lead happier, more fulfilled lives. So go out and find a local artist to support!
Seeing as if you’re reading this it’s likely that you’re a student or faculty member at NIC, so I want to know what you want to see in the Arts & Entertainment section of The Sentinel. What will make you read The Sentinel, and perhaps even enjoy it?
Music. Theatre. Television and Movies. Games. These are the things that make up American culture. Watching overrated celebrities live their drama-filled lives instead of going out and living our own is the American way. We’re constantly watching and waiting to see what brainless, dim-witted move the trashy Britney Spears, or the even trashier Amy Winehouse makes. We’re fascinated with Hollywood and the stars that call it home. We’ve forever been sucked into the ways of pop culture, and we’re loving every minute of it.
Twenty years ago, everyday people actually led real lives. They went to work and school. Ate dinner as a family and spent time together that wasn’t in front of the TV. Hollywood was just entertainment, the occasional indulgence, if you will. Today, Hollywood is so much more than entertainment. Hollywood is an escape from the pressures of real life. Hollywood is an excuse not to be the best we can. It has ruined the great America that once was. How? Like I said earlier, we spend more time following the lives of our favorite celebrities instead of going out and making a life of our own. Is there something wrong with that picture, or is it just me?
That being said, I’m your new A&E editor and I’m not all cynical and skeptical, because as much as I think that Hollywood is overrated it has irrevocably sucked me into its depths as well. The arts and entertainment industry isn’t all bad either, especially the local scene. To be honest, NIC students are really lucky to live where we do. If you aren’t familiar with the local arts scene it’s about time you wake up and take a good look around because our local fine arts scene is booming with tons of great musicians and artists that hold great shows at really great prices (can we say FREE!) fairly often. There’s rarely a day that goes by where something isn’t happening at NIC that’s entertainment or fine arts related, and it’s encouragement for students to get involved on campus and in the community. It’s proven that when people, especially young people get involved in their community they are more likely to be successful and lead happier, more fulfilled lives. So go out and find a local artist to support!
Seeing as if you’re reading this it’s likely that you’re a student or faculty member at NIC, so I want to know what you want to see in the Arts & Entertainment section of The Sentinel. What will make you read The Sentinel, and perhaps even enjoy it?
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Bloody Hell
So much has happened this past week that I have to write it down because it's beginning to take its toll on me and on others that it shouldn't be. A fair warning though, this isn't going to be pretty. I have a lot of stress, frustration, and anger that's going to come out. So, if you don't want to hear about it, leave now.
First off, why is it that I become so attached to certain people and certain things? I know that nothing lasts forever, yet I can't seem to stop letting my feelings and those god damned emotions get the best of me. I've known for a while now that it wasn't meant to be, yet I still catch him in my dreams ad in my heart. I say that I'll be happy when and if he is, but damn it, it's just not happening that way. I've got to let go if i'm going to be happy again, but I don't thik i'm ready for that, as crazy as it sounds.
On to other things, I love school and my friends but this week was too much. I spent almost $500 on textbooks and I still don't have one that I need and one that my brother needs. I think its a bit ridiculous, to be honest. Do textbooks really need to cost that much?
I spent all week working Bookswap and while it has its benefits I miss my friends. I miss my crazy, wild friends who let me vent, cry, scream and cry some more in the middle of the night and don't say a word. They just listen. They don't judge. Those who listen. Those who make me laugh when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep for a week. They've helped me through one of the hardest weeks of my life and they know who the are. The rest of you don't need to worry about it.
Basically, I've been a big ball of emotions all week and it really needs to stop. I don't like crying at the drop of a hat anymore. I need to be happy. I want to be happy. What I've said here is just touching the surface. There's a lot going on that goes much deeper, but I just needed to put some of this down in writing because I don't think I can handle holding it much longer.
First off, why is it that I become so attached to certain people and certain things? I know that nothing lasts forever, yet I can't seem to stop letting my feelings and those god damned emotions get the best of me. I've known for a while now that it wasn't meant to be, yet I still catch him in my dreams ad in my heart. I say that I'll be happy when and if he is, but damn it, it's just not happening that way. I've got to let go if i'm going to be happy again, but I don't thik i'm ready for that, as crazy as it sounds.
On to other things, I love school and my friends but this week was too much. I spent almost $500 on textbooks and I still don't have one that I need and one that my brother needs. I think its a bit ridiculous, to be honest. Do textbooks really need to cost that much?
I spent all week working Bookswap and while it has its benefits I miss my friends. I miss my crazy, wild friends who let me vent, cry, scream and cry some more in the middle of the night and don't say a word. They just listen. They don't judge. Those who listen. Those who make me laugh when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep for a week. They've helped me through one of the hardest weeks of my life and they know who the are. The rest of you don't need to worry about it.
Basically, I've been a big ball of emotions all week and it really needs to stop. I don't like crying at the drop of a hat anymore. I need to be happy. I want to be happy. What I've said here is just touching the surface. There's a lot going on that goes much deeper, but I just needed to put some of this down in writing because I don't think I can handle holding it much longer.
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